Welcome to the AUMC!

What can we help you with today?

Please wait

We'll contact you in about 5 years from now. Probably longer!

What is your gender?

Depending on your gender you may or may not be eligible our gender affirming care.

Did you do DIY HRT?

(Maybe through other available sources...?)

Who are you sexually attracted to?

Your sexual orientation determines whether you're trans or not.

What do you masturbate to?

Do you have sex?

Do you cross-dress?

Do you masturbate while wearing clothing of the opposite sex?

Were you abused as a child?

What is your BMI?

Are you asexual?

Are you sure you don't want to?

But we need that information to diagnose you.

I'm sorry, it's protocol.

So... Still don't want to answer it?

I'm afraid you won't get hormones then.

See you next month!

...

Do you masturbate while wearing clothing of the opposite sex?

Are you sure you don't want to?

Thanks!

You will be invited for a first appointment in a few weeks.

Sorry.

It seems you can't transition if you don't work on your other problems first.

Sorry.

You should really lose some of that weight, otherwise we won't give you anything.

Game over.

Don't lie to me.

You're just confused.

Maybe you should get a partner first.

Sike!

We don't treat non binary people lol get outta here

Oh...

You're too autistic my friend, sorry

So you're ashamed?

It's normal to have those urges

You can't do that!

It's illegal, and it's dangerous, and you'll get thrombosis, and your bones will degrade, and...

"Asexual"?

That's not in my DSM V, you must have made that up.

Congratulations!

You will start your transition soon!